This story explores the different types of chips that correspond with each zodiac sign, including not only potato chips but also corn chips, and kale crisps.
Aries, the first sign of the zodiac, matches perfectly with flame-kissed and twice-baked pita chips.
Taurus is the potato: dependable, dense, and seeking pleasure. Why bother with refrigerated dip when you can enjoy the gluttonous pleasure of dry sour cream and onion chips?
Gemini's Pringles connection: the inventor, a Gemini chemist, patented the saddle shape and can to prevent breakage. Pringles changed their description and flavors.
Cancer invented Funyuns; resistant to change, their recipe is the same since 1969. Cancers are sensitive and nostalgic, yet the comedians of the zodiac.
Sagittarius's chip of choice is Cheetos; built for speed and experiences, devil-may-care, and stained hands be damned, they remind me of a prototypical Sagittarius dude.
Pisces encompasses energy of every sign before it; Jupiter-ruled planet of abundance. Munchies, a snack menagerie engineered to operate as siren song to stoners, fits the bill.
Leos are ruled by the sun and embody the heat of summer. SunChips tried to brand themselves as “green” but failed, much like a Leo’s shaky follow-through.
Doritos were invented by Virgo Arch West and perfectly match the efficiency and chemical gold dust flavor of Virgos.
Libra loves harmony and simplicity, making Lays potato chips a fitting choice. They also have a taste for high-end stuff, reflected in chip-inspired handbags costing $1800.
Scorpio rules the Chazz chips promise a unique flavor. Scorpios are fearless in pursuit of intimacy and this unrepentant smut is their kind of bag.